5 Practical Methods To Not Regret Your Life

You’ve probably come across some version of “Top Regrets of the Dying” in your life.

In 2009, palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware, summarized the most common regrets she’d heard into an article and subsequently a book titled, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

Paul Graham, the founder of Y Combinator, wrote an essay in 2012 called: The Top of My Todo List.

He took Bronnie’s list and inverted it.

Now he had a list of commands, as he called them, to avoid living a life of regret:

This statement now lives, as he aptly titled it, at the top of the document he uses as his to do list.

I would fit each of these commands firmly in the category of: easy to know, hard to do.

So, as always, I’ll try and make them easier to do for you. Let’s get practical!

1. Don’t Ignore Your Dreams

I wrote a pretty extensive breakdown about how I chase my dream life. I won’t repeat the whole thing but it breaks down into 4 steps:

1. Take stock of your world. Find what is working, and what isn’t.

2. Write down what your dream life looks like. The more detailed you can be, the easier the next step is. Where do you live? Are you married? What’s your salary?

3. Break your new dream life into, “If True” statements. Again, be as detailed as possible.

4. Underneath each statement, write out at least 1 thing you could do right now to move towards that goal.

2. Don’t Work Too Much

The best way to create anything is with what’s called a Minimum Viable Product.

What does it look like to have a Minimum Viable Career?

Bill Perkins talks about this in Die With Zero. If you work too much or too long it is possible to die without having converted all the money you worked for into life experiences.

If you die with $150,000 in your bank account and you had a salary of $75,000, you spent two years of your life working for free!

While it is obviously impossible to calculate exactly how much money you’ll need to live in the future. Or how long you’ll live. It is important to start planning when it might make sense to stop working.

3. and 4. Say What You Think; Cultivate Friendships

While you might not think these two seem to fit together, I would argue that they are inextricably linked.

Self-censorship is at an all time high.

Being completely unfiltered — without real or imagined repercussions — is only possible when you have deep relationships.

Therefore, to express your feelings, it is key to have unwavering friendships.

Here’s a few tips for maintaining friendships:

1. Your spouse better be your best friend.

2. Whenever you think about a friend, text them.

3. Keep a personal CRM. People might think this seems cold but if the alternative option is you don’t talk to your friends, that’s a worthy tradeoff.

4. Be the one who reaches out and plans events. People get far to wrapped up in their own busy lives. Everyone wants someone else to plan the friend date. Be that someone.

5. Be Happy

I’m not going to pretend I have this answer for you. All I can do is tell you what works for me and many others.

Check out this post I wrote on the best ways to use your time for happiness.

Additionally, here’s a chart about people’s enjoyment of different activities. In case it isn’t clear, try to do more things at the bottom of this chart and less at the top!