Reflecting On 2 Years Of DSTLLD

There is a fantastic article from Kyle Eschenroeder titled What Do You Want To Want that I often reflect on.

Most of my reflection in the last month since becoming a father has revolved around this idea. I’m not gaining time in my day so it is important, now more than ever, to be ruthless with my understanding of what I want to want.

Here’s two important facts:

1. You can have almost anything, but not everything.

2. Your personal “anything” can be achieved in many ways, not just one.

This week is the 2 year anniversary of me launching DSTLLD. During that time I have tried at least half a dozen different methods to help grow subscribers and have gained the equivalent of 1 subscriber every 4 days since launch. That’s not great.

A couple of my long time business follows online are Gary Vaynerchuk and Alex Hormozi.

Their ethos for building their businesses is quality & quantity. Yes, and. Post more. More importantly, they have proof that their methods work. So, I would be a fool not to emulate them right?

It turns out I’m not playing the same game that they are.

They’re building billion dollar businesses.

I’m trying to generate a little bonus income from writing online and hosting a podcast.

So why am I trying to play a different game using the same rules. It’s like I’m trying to play Chess with pieces from a Catan board.

And it turns out… I really hate chess.

Gary’s famous “How to create 64 pieces of content in a day” might work for people who love social media. I don’t.

In fact, I’ve long stated privately, that if I hadn’t been trying to grow various online businesses for the last decade I would live my life without social media accounts.

I don’t like the way I feel using it.

I don’t like the games required to succeed at it.

I don’t like the superficiality of everyone that lives their life on it.

Here’s where the 2nd fact from the start is important. In life and in business there are multiple ways to win the game.

Their strategy for winning is like trying win a game of Quidditch by scoring 160 points with the Quaffle — 10 at a time — to outscore the team who ends up catching the Snitch for 150 points.

That’s great when you have a team of Chasers — AKA a huge team of employees, or extra time, or a operating capital. Basically, leverage beyond one person.

I’m one guy. It’s much easier for me to win as a Seeker by catching the Snitch.

As it turns out a reliable way to cause yourself anxiety is to play games where you don’t know all the rules.

Some examples of games where it is impossible to know all the rules:

1. Growing a social media account — The algorithms are intentionally obfuscated so you can’t predict your own success.

2. Stock trading — There are too many variables to predict capital markets. 95% of day traders lose money.

3. Dating apps — The intentional manipulation within dating apps designed to drive revenue makes them more like a casino game where the reward is getting ghosted.

4. Social Movements — The rules of the topic de jour change daily and you’ll be ostracized for not being on the bleeding edge of whatever you’re supposed to be an ally to today.

5. Parenting — This one causes anxiety but the tradeoff happens to be worth it!

As I reflect on what I want to want, it turns out I’m spending my limited time playing games I don’t like, with rules I don’t know, to impress people who don’t know me.

Thankfully I have plenty of time to change what game I’m playing. Don’t worry nothing is changing for you! I love the game of writing, I just don’t love the game of unreliable social media promotion. Time to change that.

Are you playing the right games?