The 1 Thing Shared By Rich & Poor...

In October 2020 I planned a trip for the purpose of filming a 4 minute video to put on Instagram. I spent more time thinking about the perfect photo op than enjoying the trip itself. How often do we live a life that looks good, instead of a life that feels good?

The answer is invisibility.

The richest people in the world are invisible. Not the Elon Musks or Jeff Bezos of the world. It’s hard to be invisible as the Founder or CEO of a Fortune 100 company.

Those around them.

The 6th employee at Facebook, the real estate developer that owns 4000 units in midwestern USA or the CFO of a bank in Switzerland.

You’ll never know their names, but they are all comfortably in the %0.0001 of the worlds wealth.

The poorest people in the world are also invisible. Does anyone know the name of the guy who lives in the tent at the end of their street? How about the family harvesting rice in Indonesia for $5 a week?

It’s counterintuitive to strive for invisibility when most people equate visibility with success and happiness.

Visibility in 2024 is attention in the digital world. Gen Z’s first job choice is influencer.

The problem is, pursuing visibility interferes with happiness.

Have you ever planned a trip or event that you didn’t want to because you thought it would look good on Instagram?

Your life becomes a narrative crafted for an audience. Not just preventing you from embracing the messiness of life, but stressing you out when things don’t fit into the story.

Interactions becomes transactional, aimed at increasing status or visibility.

Having to always be “on” in social settings is exhausting. You’ll even alter your personality or beliefs to fit different friend’s expectations, losing touch with your true self.

You become a persona.

People won’t love you, they’ll love the idea of what you represent to them.

By aiming for invisibility, you release the need for validation from people who won’t think about you when you’re gone.

This allows you to invest more time and energy into the relationships that do matter. Your kids, spouse and close friends.

Scott Galloway says there are three buckets in life… Wants, needs and shoulds.

His position is that achieving high levels of wealth allows you to eliminate the “shoulds” from your life.

You know this colloquially as, “Fuck You Money.”

Invisibility has much the same effect. It eliminates “shoulds.”

Trends, lifestyle inflation, performative career advancement, negative friendships or this week’s social cause. How many people were cancelled by friends for not posting a black square on Facebook because it was visible to everyone?

In the immortal words of Rage Against The Machine, “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”

For the rich, invisibility means security, authenticity, freedom and a lack of negative externalities. For the poor, it means community solidarity, freedom from feeling judged, simplicity and a focus on personal survival.

For those of us in the middle, invisibility means less surface-level validation, more meaningful relationships, fewer disappointing activities and more fulfilling days.