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The Power of Brotherhood

How to live well into your 80s

There’s a hidden power in your life that influences your happiness, your health, and your longevity.

It’s not money.

It’s not success.

It's definitely not your digital achievement points.

It’s your relationships - specifically, your friendships.

Let’s talk about the Harvard Study of Adult Development. This is one of the longest-running studies of adult life, and it’s been going on for over 80 years.

It’s conclusion? The biggest predictor of health and happiness at age 80 isn’t your cholesterol levels or your bank balance. It’s the quality of your relationships at age 50.

So how do you make sure you’re retaining those friendships?

Men's friendships are much different than women’s friendships.

We don't just sit around and chat. We do things together. We play video games, we play sports, we go hunting or fishing, we join fraternities or school clubs.

This isn't a modern quirk - it's a pattern that goes back to our primitive ancestors. Working together, moving together, doing things together - these were the bonds that kept us alive in a tough world. And based on the study above, they're still keeping us alive today.

Where do you find these friendships?

Fraternities, for all the flak they get, provide a sense of brotherhood that few other experiences can match. They’re a microcosm of what male friendship is - shared experiences, mutual support and a sense of belonging.

Childhood friends. I’ve been notoriously bad for keeping up with these friends but they’re usually the easiest to maintain over time with a little investment.

Guilds from online games aren’t just about leveling up or getting the best loot. They're about teamwork, camaraderie, and shared victories. They won’t replace the true impact of face to face friendships but they can be a fantastic place to start.

Local groups or hobby clubs. My father, for as long as I can remember was a member of a group called The Odd Fellows. I never quite understood why he did or what they were. Now I realize they were his lifelong fraternity. While I still don’t understand exactly what they are — I imagine most don’t unless you’re a member — I understand the why behind his religious Tuesday night lodge meetings.

So, what does this mean for you?

It means that your friendships, your brotherhoods, are worth more than you might realize.

Does that mean you should abandon everything else in your life to focus on your friendships? No, of course not. But it does mean that you should give them the value they deserve. Work hard to keep the good people in your life.

Thank you for reading this far, I’m humbled! Could I ask you for a small favour? Sharing this newsletter with 1 person is completely free and it’s the best way to support me!

The Refinery

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