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Time Slows Down When You're Having Fun
The importance of memories and milestones.
I feel like the Actually Guy Meme this week…
“Time flies when you’re having fun.”
That might be true on a micro level due to the flow state. But, on a macro level, time slows down when you’re having fun and making memories.
The first time I was introduced to this concept was in Matthew Dick’s book Storyworthy. He suggests recording a “Storyworthy” moment each day. As a byproduct of this process you start to differentiate one day from the next.
“As you begin to take stock of your days, find those moments — see them and record them — time will begin to slow down for you.”
We’ve all had weeks or months where you look back and say “nothing happened.” It isn’t that nothing happened. It’s that nothing memorable happened.
It turns out our perception of time is defined by the density of available memories in any given period of time. This is partly because we also remember events in relation to other events.
“When we went on vacation we swam with dolphins and I got that really bad sunburn.”
“Back in high school we got trounced in an OFSAA hockey qualifier and then we had winter formal.”
The easiest way to combat the feeling of time passing too quickly is to do something new, fun and different once a week. For a double whammy, use date night as an excuse to do these things.
“Dr. Arthur Aron and his colleagues conducted experiments and revealed that couples who go on “exciting” and novel date nights, or engage in fun and challenging activities, have higher relationship satisfaction.” (source)
I’ve come to crave my routines, but I’m not surprised when I look up and it’s been 3 weeks.
Memories and milestones function in the same way. This is why life speeds up as we get older too. When you’re young there are a lot more milestones.
First apartment, first kiss, first drivers license, first day of high school, first dance, first goal, first friendship, first girlfriend.
Hopefully not in that order.
Most major personal milestones end around the age of 35 when you finish having kids. Then life “speeds up.”
This relates to another happiness maximizing idea. People who spend their money on experiences are far happier than people who spend their money on material possessions. Bill Perkins touches on this and “Memory Dividends” in Die With Zero:
“Unlike material possessions, which seem exciting at the beginning but then often depreciate quickly, experiences actually gain in value over time: They pay what I call a memory dividend.”
A financial dividend pays a small amount of cash for holding a stock. A memory dividend pays a small amount of happiness for holding a memory.
This is backed up by science. Your brain releases dopamine in anticipation of and when remembering an exciting event. In fact, your brain releases more dopamine in anticipation than it does during the event (reward).
It’s why people like Tim Ferriss plan multiple vacations at a time, up to 2 years in advance.
The takeaway this week is simple:
To feel like you’re living longer and enjoying it more, do novel things more often and buy memories, not possessions.
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