Why 'And' Is A Motivational Word

I included Michael Singer’s quote about the world in my June roundup last year: “The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it.”

What I want to talk to you about today is the last phrase… “what your mind says about it.”

Everything your mind tells you is a story. We see the world in stories, this is why you remember a story better than a list of facts.

Good narrative storytellers do their best to eliminate the word ‘And’ from their writing. South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone along with novelist Brandon Sanderson are notorious for this. Every story they tell needs a ‘But’ or ‘Therefore’ instead to signal cause and effect. ‘And’ simply signals a continuation of an existing path without any impact of the character’s choices.

We can invert this narrative tool to our advantage.

Going back to Michael Singer’s quote, what usually happens when something negative happens to you in your life? I’m willing to bet the words But or Therefore come up a lot.

1. My girlfriend broke up with me, therefore I’m going to sit around for a month and Uber Eats all my food to the front door.

2. I didn’t get the promotion at work, but I didn’t really deserve it anyways.

3. I just got a parking ticket, therefore I’m now on a lifelong vendetta against the entire parking enforcement industry, which definitely isn’t an overreaction and will certainly not result in me angrily Googling 'how to become a sovereign citizen' at 2 a.m.

4. I was abused as a child, therefore I have crippling anxiety and can’t function in normal society.

5. This person online said something I don’t like, therefore everyone who agrees with them should be vilified.

Whoever or whatever you point your finger at is what you give power to. If you blame other things or other people, you relinquish your power to fix your own problems. Again, the danger of victimhood culture.

And is different. And lets you write the next part of your own story. And doesn’t render you powerless.

I was abuse as a child and…

…it has inspired me to stand up for others so no one has to go through what I did.

My girlfriend broke up with me and…

…it was probably because I wasn’t taking care of myself so I started eating better and exercising regularly.

We spend a lot of time talking about agency around here. In this context the word And lets you be the agentic person. But or Therefore strip you of your agency, turn you into an NPC.

Life unfolds regardless of what your mind says about it. But what your mind says? That’s your story to write. So, the next time something goes wrong, pause. Rewrite the next sentence with 'And' — not 'But.' Let me know what happens.

H/T - Alex Hormozi

Words I Wish I Wrote

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